Thanks Scott and Jimmy for sending us this video clip of our baby. At first, when I saw it I thought it was another doggie who talked like Harley. Then, I realized it was our baby...thanks for the memories!
We LOVE YOU Harley...
May 24, 2012
May 23, 2012
Inner Child
Photo Credit: Internet Image
Inner child is a concept used in popular psychology and Analytical psychology to denote the childlike aspect of a person's psyche, especially when viewed as an independent entity. Frequently, the term is used to address subjective childhood experiences and the remaining effects of one's childhood. The inner child also refers to all of the emotional memory and experiences stored in the brain from earliest memory.
The inner child can be considered a subpersonality, and many of those therapy approaches that work with subpersonalities deal with the inner child, even if they don't use that term. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) has expanded the concept considerably in recognizing that there isn't just one inner child subpersonality, but many. IFS calls the wounded inner child subpersonalities "exiles" because they tend to be excluded from consciousness in order to defend against the pain and trauma that they carry. It has a sophisticated method for gaining safe access to a person's exiles, witnessing the stories of their origins in childhood, and healing them.
Why, do I bring this up? I guess in self-reflection I recognize I had a wounded inner child and my journey to heal her. In doing so, it took reconciling my feelings about my mother. In our journey together I took the time to get to know her. What happened in her childhood? What happened in her married life. What happened in her carerr? What made her tick. Why she acted the way she did. Why she could not give me what I longed for...how this impacted her ability to be a mother to me???
In the journey...somehow we switched roles. I became the mom. She became the child. We journeyed the road through love, through acceptance, through open honest communication. By dealing with our demons. By combatting them together. In unison. As a team.
Today, we are the best of friends. Love each other unconditionally. And the best part...we know each other intimately. We do not put unrealistic expectations on each other. We do not take each other for granted. We know what we have...we know the journey...
Recently, she was talking to my nephew Blake who is being held hostage by my sister. My mom raised my sisters children. The pain of the loss of them has been great. She shared with me something she told him, "You know Blake. I have become very close with your Aunt Debbie. I never really did anything for her. Yet, I know, she would do anything for me". And that is the truth. I have such an unconditional protective love for my mother. I want to shield her from any further pain. Enjoy watching her at 85 years old...be youthful, joyful and free. This is the greatest gift...the greatest joy...the reconcilation...of 2-women who are not only mother and daughter, but friends.
We are reconciled...
Lifeline
Photo Credit: Internet Image
In life, sometimes we need to have a lifeline. Someone who takes the time to get to know us. To care about us. To make us a priority. To love us unconditionally. To take care of us. Someone who the ability to "get over themself" to make the extra effort. Someone to LISTEN to us. To HEAR us. When we need help. Encouragement. Understanding. Nurturing. Forgiveness.
The person, who has the power to be the lifeline has a choice. What am I willing to give? How much am I willing to grow? How much am I willing to self-sacrifice. To help the person seeking our help, assistance, forgivness or love...
So imagine...for a moment. You are on a boat and there is someone stranded in the ocean. Drowining...struggling...calling out for help...You have the power to save them. Do you?
Do you...
1. Call out to them to swim to the boat. You can do it. You can do it.
2. Send out a life preserver. Pull yourself to the boat. You can do it. You can do it.
3. Jump in. Swim out. Pull them in. We can do it. We can do it.
4. Or do you just leave them. Swim to shore. I hope you can do it.
We have the power to help others. Or not. The choice is ours...
How do you choose????
May 21, 2012
Left Overs
Tonight, Jason, Summer and my girls came over for left overs. A couple of cocktails, chalk art, and a cool summer breeze capped off a perfect evening...
Video time...
Chillin'...
The Artists...
The Art...
Flintsone Feet...
The Rock...
Connected...
Nurse Ratchet preparing the patient for his lobotomy....
Never to old for pig tails...
OMG!!!!
I LOVE YOU...my snuggle bunnies...
May 20, 2012
Standing Alone...
Yesterday, Folly and I were engaged in our morning talk. I am not sure how we even got on the subject. Somewhere the conversation transitioned...
Folly: I am not really a leader. I am more of a follower. I need someone to tell me what to do. On the other hand you are a leader. Then she paused. Well not really a leader. "You stand alone".
Me: Light bulb moment...She was right!!! Some of my most frustrating career disapointments was not being recognized by the organization for my leadership skills. In another post I tried to reconcile this my stating I was really more of an idicator species as opposed to a leader. Even though I tried this on for size...still somehow it did not entirely fit. Like a dress too tight in some places, yet fitting just right in others...but not entirely right...needing more fabric to allow for the natural flow...
But yes, "standing alone" does capture the essence. I am not prone to following the crowd. I am willing to stand alone and say, "hey the emporer has no clothes". Calling it like it is. Not willing to cow tow to "the popular" group. I actually shun the "popular" group. I remember being at Altura and every year the President would have and XMAS party for the senior management team - of which I was one. Yet, I never went. I did not want to be part of that crowd. I did not respect the "so called leader". Actually, working at Altura was one of the weirdest experiences. It was like working for a Stepford company. The beautiful people. The facade. The pretense. Yet under all the fake exterior was dysfunction. I knew it. I sensed it. And so it makes sense. The invisible child. Stands alone....
Even in my social network. As part of this commune Jamie and I have brought together. Family. Friends. I wonder...do I still stand alone? Maybe. I know I have a weird side to me. Yet, the people in my life accept me for who I am. They know me...yet still love me. When Jamie and I went to the movie to see the Avengers there was a line in the movie that triggered this response from me to him: "I love you because you accept me the way I am. You love me for who I am. I can be myself around you". I know he feels the same way. I see him. I see through him. I know sometimes he feels exposed. Yet, he trusts in the fact that I love him. Just the way he is. We stand "naked" in front of each other - in a figurative sense. Trusting...vulnerable...open...
And so you have it. Maybe, I do still "stand alone". Not because I am better. But because I am not. Yet, I am loved...for who I am.Thanks to all of you...who love me...for the person I am. The person I have become. The person I aspire to be...
May 19, 2012
Happy Birthday Jason!!!
Happy Birthday Jason...with all our love...Jamie and Deb...
And many more~~~
The food...
Craft time...
Play time. When I have the girls over I always try to do some sort of craft or some game playing outside. After they decorated the cupakes and made their frames they began building their "Fairy Home"...
Girls Just Wanna Have FUN~~~
Boys wanna have fun too!!!
Let's Eat!!!
Celebrate Good Times, Come On!!!
Kisses for grandma...
Gopher hunter...
I can see China from my house...
Conga Line...
Happy Birthday, son...
May 18, 2012
Health Care Milestone
Well, after last weeks "fake heart attack" scare I went to the doctor to follow up. I checked my blood pressure all week. Not bad...a couple of bad ones...one after work and one after drinking coffee and walking...but the rest were all within normal range.
I took my blood pressue monitor to calibrate with the doctors office. The scores were literally 1-2 points difference. And the final diagnosis...drum roll please...
I am officially off blood pressure medicine. Yahoooo!!!
What do I attribute it to?
- Daily excercise
- Weekly massage
- Regular chiropractic
- Eating less meat and more veggies
- Daily dose of flax seed
- Lots of water. Limited amounts of soft drinks
- Yoga and meditation
- Losing a few pounds
- Limit salt intake
- The peace God has brought to my life
- Quieting the "noise in my brain"
I am so motiviated to keep it up. To see if I can get back into shape. Get rid of my belly bucker. Thunder thighs. Back fat. And the notorious double chin.
May 16, 2012
Jason's Birthday Theme: Comfort Foods
We are going to be celebrating Jason's birthday on Friday. As you all know...party prep for me takes days. I usually post the process as I go along. However, I know Jason follows this blog. So...my dear son...they only thing I will tell you...the theme is going to be comfort foods. Why you may ask?
His quiet nature. His gentle soul. His commitment to his family. His ability to set healthy boundaries. His love...his devotion...his dedication...to life. He lives his values. When I think of Jason...I think of comfort...
I love you so much Jason. Just know...I am going to go all out for you....
Until Friday...that's all you are gonna get....
Noise in the Brain
Photo Credit: Internet image
By nature...I am a thinker. A dweller in my head. I can run complex scenarios and situations in my head and have an analysis in a short amount of time. In business it is frustrating to me when I see smart people taking a long time to get to the result that I can calculate...in minutes. At home it is frustrating to both Jamie and me when he needs to think out a situation...detail...by detail...by detail...I have usually already thought out the details and can draw a picture to try and communicate my thought process...but I am not interested in rehashing the details. My personality profile is one of the minority in the population. The ability to use both sides of my brain...equally, successfully. I am not sure it is so much as smart...as it is the ability to be both logical and creative in my thinking. I thrive in my head. I enjoy being in my head...today.
Yet, there was a time...pre-God...pre-Jamie...where my thinking kept me trapped in the negative situations that were my childhood. My young adult years. My adult years. Cardinal thoughts. I remember in my hey day...making tons of money, being single, men, acess to excess. I would drive in my car during my sales route...heart pumping loud music in the background...thinking...thinking...how to get more, how to be more powerful, how to be more in control...The Master of MY Universe....
Trapped in my negative impression of my family. Trapped in my "classic" behavior of a woman seeking love when she did not have a good relationship with her dad. Trapped in my longing for more success, money, access and notoriety, chasing the world's treasures. Trapped in never finding peace, joy, contentment, no matter how much I chased....and chased...and chased! I was on the treadmill to no where.
Today, I still enjoy being in my head. But the thoughts are more pure. More innocent. More forgiving. Less about me. More about the people in my life. My thoughts no longer trap me...they have freed me. I call this the "calming of the noise".
I wish for any of you who are caught up in your "noise in your brain"...peace, joy, and contentment. Think more about others. Reconcile the demons from your past. Forgive those, who sometimes don't deserve it. Travel your road with grace and love. Today when I drive to work (45 minutes each way) I am either on the phone with mom, Folly or Jamie. Or, listening to KWVE...Christian radio...Christian values...Christian music. Inspiring, thought provoking...calming the noise in my brain. Focusing on others...focusing on being a better person...focusing on my purpose...which I know is not about serving me...but serving others....My gift of hospitality. I love how my house is a home. A sanctuary for those who enter. A place for comfort. A place for love.
And then...you can....Enjoy your life. Enjoy your thoughts. And settle the "noise in your brain".
