Last week Summer came to visit Jamie for his birthday. And while I hope Jamie will post about their time together from his point of view...this is from my point of view.
Summer has what every girls needs. A father who loves her. A husband who loves her. Unconditionally. Willing to sacrifice for her. Willing to take the bullet for her. What makes her very unique from many of the women I know...she knows this. And it gives her a self confidence of self that I have not seen with many of the women I know. Most of us struggle with the primary parental relationship with our fathers - which then has impacted out ability to bond with our significant others.
Over the course of the years I have "questioned" Jamie about how this love works. How this love feels. As a teacher he has taken the time to explain this to me. Sometimes misreading my motives as being "jealous". This is a fair word and I can see why he would have used it. However, the basic, real truth is...I just wanted to understand it. There is a lot in my life that I have not been provided by family in my formative years in the way of this kind of unconditional sacrificial love by my father. My father provided financially as best he could. We were a poor family growing up. Working poor. But what I did see was my father and mother going to work every day. I always had food to eat. Clothes to wear. A roof over my head. And I never saw bill collectors coming to our home to get paid. The way my family showed their love was through money. And being poor while the basics were provided there was not enough to show their love to encourage me with extras or to discover a world outside of a poor working class family. Within this environment it instilled a fire in my belly that these people were not going to be able to take care of me. So from a very early age I honed my skills and followed my intention of being an independent woman who did not need a man - or anyone else for that matter to find who I was or be responsible for my feelings, happiness, or sexual satisfaction. I would become the master of my own universe. To survive a relationship with me is not always easy, fun, or equitable. So for me to understand this type of father daughter relationship through watching Jamie and Summer has helped me live vicariously through theirs. I have learned that our own life cannot always give us what we need. However, if we can separate our need from watching "models" of how something works without jealously and enjoy the experience for them...it can be just as satisfying.
This last week watching Summer and Jamie navigate their relationship was a beautiful event and so satisfying and freeing for me. Mom and I gave them the space to have as much time together as possible. Then mom and I would talk about how beautiful it was to watch and be a part of. While we did not experience the father/daughter relationship as we were watching before us with Jamie and Summer - it was fulfilling to know it exits in real life and not just in fairy tales. Living vicariously..mom and me.together. Very healing to say the least.
So join me and watch unfold the love of a lifetime. The pure love between father and daughter. Unlike none I have ever seen. I love you both Jamie and Summer. Thank you for letting me partake...
Sacrificial love means going above and beyond for the person you love. Summer flies into Vegas. Jamie did a marathon pick up. About 10 hours on the road. Without complaint. Without a second thought to his old man knees that would pay the price. Because the prize was worth the effort and pain...
Off to the county fair...
I was on a mission. To find the potato chips. Summer and Jamie following me around like a crazy person. And then...success!!! I allowed myself to eat as many as I could as fast as I could until I literally made myself sick - ugh!!!
Corny...
Lost children...
It's fair!
Then off to Vegas for the two of them. For Jamie's birthday they planned to see Love, the Beatles Cirque du Soleil Show. What a perfect word to describe them - LOVE! While I was not able to go...Jamie would send me pics and send me love. Wishing I could be with them. And I was...in spirit for sure. Enjoying them as they enjoyed themselves. Living vicariously...
Racing around town...
Meeting Chumly...
So in conclusion...I want to thank Jamie and Summer. For allowing me to feel a part of your very special relationship. Allowing me to live vicariously. You complete me!
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