Thanks Scott and Jimmy for sending us this video clip of our baby. At first, when I saw it I thought it was another doggie who talked like Harley. Then, I realized it was our baby...thanks for the memories!
We LOVE YOU Harley...
General
May 24, 2012
May 23, 2012
Lifeline
Photo Credit: Internet Image
In life, sometimes we need to have a lifeline. Someone who takes the time to get to know us. To care about us. To make us a priority. To love us unconditionally. To take care of us. Someone who the ability to "get over themself" to make the extra effort. Someone to LISTEN to us. To HEAR us. When we need help. Encouragement. Understanding. Nurturing. Forgiveness.
The person, who has the power to be the lifeline has a choice. What am I willing to give? How much am I willing to grow? How much am I willing to self-sacrifice. To help the person seeking our help, assistance, forgivness or love...
So imagine...for a moment. You are on a boat and there is someone stranded in the ocean. Drowining...struggling...calling out for help...You have the power to save them. Do you?
Do you...
1. Call out to them to swim to the boat. You can do it. You can do it.
2. Send out a life preserver. Pull yourself to the boat. You can do it. You can do it.
3. Jump in. Swim out. Pull them in. We can do it. We can do it.
4. Or do you just leave them. Swim to shore. I hope you can do it.
We have the power to help others. Or not. The choice is ours...
How do you choose????
May 21, 2012
Left Overs
Tonight, Jason, Summer and my girls came over for left overs. A couple of cocktails, chalk art, and a cool summer breeze capped off a perfect evening...
Video time...
Chillin'...
The Artists...
The Art...
Flintsone Feet...
The Rock...
Connected...
Nurse Ratchet preparing the patient for his lobotomy....
Never to old for pig tails...
OMG!!!!
I LOVE YOU...my snuggle bunnies...
May 20, 2012
Standing Alone...
Yesterday, Folly and I were engaged in our morning talk. I am not sure how we even got on the subject. Somewhere the conversation transitioned...
Folly: I am not really a leader. I am more of a follower. I need someone to tell me what to do. On the other hand you are a leader. Then she paused. Well not really a leader. "You stand alone".
Me: Light bulb moment...She was right!!! Some of my most frustrating career disapointments was not being recognized by the organization for my leadership skills. In another post I tried to reconcile this my stating I was really more of an idicator species as opposed to a leader. Even though I tried this on for size...still somehow it did not entirely fit. Like a dress too tight in some places, yet fitting just right in others...but not entirely right...needing more fabric to allow for the natural flow...
But yes, "standing alone" does capture the essence. I am not prone to following the crowd. I am willing to stand alone and say, "hey the emporer has no clothes". Calling it like it is. Not willing to cow tow to "the popular" group. I actually shun the "popular" group. I remember being at Altura and every year the President would have and XMAS party for the senior management team - of which I was one. Yet, I never went. I did not want to be part of that crowd. I did not respect the "so called leader". Actually, working at Altura was one of the weirdest experiences. It was like working for a Stepford company. The beautiful people. The facade. The pretense. Yet under all the fake exterior was dysfunction. I knew it. I sensed it. And so it makes sense. The invisible child. Stands alone....
Even in my social network. As part of this commune Jamie and I have brought together. Family. Friends. I wonder...do I still stand alone? Maybe. I know I have a weird side to me. Yet, the people in my life accept me for who I am. They know me...yet still love me. When Jamie and I went to the movie to see the Avengers there was a line in the movie that triggered this response from me to him: "I love you because you accept me the way I am. You love me for who I am. I can be myself around you". I know he feels the same way. I see him. I see through him. I know sometimes he feels exposed. Yet, he trusts in the fact that I love him. Just the way he is. We stand "naked" in front of each other - in a figurative sense. Trusting...vulnerable...open...
And so you have it. Maybe, I do still "stand alone". Not because I am better. But because I am not. Yet, I am loved...for who I am.Thanks to all of you...who love me...for the person I am. The person I have become. The person I aspire to be...
May 19, 2012
May 18, 2012
Health Care Milestone
Well, after last weeks "fake heart attack" scare I went to the doctor to follow up. I checked my blood pressure all week. Not bad...a couple of bad ones...one after work and one after drinking coffee and walking...but the rest were all within normal range.
I took my blood pressue monitor to calibrate with the doctors office. The scores were literally 1-2 points difference. And the final diagnosis...drum roll please...
I am officially off blood pressure medicine. Yahoooo!!!
What do I attribute it to?
- Daily excercise
- Weekly massage
- Regular chiropractic
- Eating less meat and more veggies
- Daily dose of flax seed
- Lots of water. Limited amounts of soft drinks
- Yoga and meditation
- Losing a few pounds
- Limit salt intake
- The peace God has brought to my life
- Quieting the "noise in my brain"
I am so motiviated to keep it up. To see if I can get back into shape. Get rid of my belly bucker. Thunder thighs. Back fat. And the notorious double chin.
May 16, 2012
Jason's Birthday Theme: Comfort Foods
We are going to be celebrating Jason's birthday on Friday. As you all know...party prep for me takes days. I usually post the process as I go along. However, I know Jason follows this blog. So...my dear son...they only thing I will tell you...the theme is going to be comfort foods. Why you may ask?
His quiet nature. His gentle soul. His commitment to his family. His ability to set healthy boundaries. His love...his devotion...his dedication...to life. He lives his values. When I think of Jason...I think of comfort...
I love you so much Jason. Just know...I am going to go all out for you....
Until Friday...that's all you are gonna get....
Noise in the Brain
Photo Credit: Internet image
By nature...I am a thinker. A dweller in my head. I can run complex scenarios and situations in my head and have an analysis in a short amount of time. In business it is frustrating to me when I see smart people taking a long time to get to the result that I can calculate...in minutes. At home it is frustrating to both Jamie and me when he needs to think out a situation...detail...by detail...by detail...I have usually already thought out the details and can draw a picture to try and communicate my thought process...but I am not interested in rehashing the details. My personality profile is one of the minority in the population. The ability to use both sides of my brain...equally, successfully. I am not sure it is so much as smart...as it is the ability to be both logical and creative in my thinking. I thrive in my head. I enjoy being in my head...today.
Yet, there was a time...pre-God...pre-Jamie...where my thinking kept me trapped in the negative situations that were my childhood. My young adult years. My adult years. Cardinal thoughts. I remember in my hey day...making tons of money, being single, men, acess to excess. I would drive in my car during my sales route...heart pumping loud music in the background...thinking...thinking...how to get more, how to be more powerful, how to be more in control...The Master of MY Universe....
Trapped in my negative impression of my family. Trapped in my "classic" behavior of a woman seeking love when she did not have a good relationship with her dad. Trapped in my longing for more success, money, access and notoriety, chasing the world's treasures. Trapped in never finding peace, joy, contentment, no matter how much I chased....and chased...and chased! I was on the treadmill to no where.
Today, I still enjoy being in my head. But the thoughts are more pure. More innocent. More forgiving. Less about me. More about the people in my life. My thoughts no longer trap me...they have freed me. I call this the "calming of the noise".
I wish for any of you who are caught up in your "noise in your brain"...peace, joy, and contentment. Think more about others. Reconcile the demons from your past. Forgive those, who sometimes don't deserve it. Travel your road with grace and love. Today when I drive to work (45 minutes each way) I am either on the phone with mom, Folly or Jamie. Or, listening to KWVE...Christian radio...Christian values...Christian music. Inspiring, thought provoking...calming the noise in my brain. Focusing on others...focusing on being a better person...focusing on my purpose...which I know is not about serving me...but serving others....My gift of hospitality. I love how my house is a home. A sanctuary for those who enter. A place for comfort. A place for love.
And then...you can....Enjoy your life. Enjoy your thoughts. And settle the "noise in your brain".
May 13, 2012
Happy Mother's Day!
Today, when most of you are celebrating mother's day with your mom's...
My mother will be heading off to a 7-day Mexican cruise. Her mission, to have a "ball", to "find a rich husband", to gamble and dance the night away. She is traveling with her friend, Antonia who can sometimes act like as my mom puts it "innocent". My mom does not act innocent. She is baudy. She is loud. She is fun! My mom told Antonio, "if I do something that embarrases you, just go away. Don't act drama and cover your face like you are "innocent". I will toss you off the ship"! Folly told her, "that ship will never be the same after you". How right she is!
My mom is a survivor, a thriver...she did not have a great life, but she has a great "outlook" on life. She does not dwell on the past. Does not let the past define who she is. She has met her obligations to her family. She is now living to meet the obligations of her soul. To live each day and moment to its fullest. Grass does not grow under her "high heeled" feet. She has men coming out of the woodwork. Whatever "it" is, she has it. She is my inspiration as I travel into my "twilight years". Old is only a state of mind. She calls people younger than her "old". She knows she is 85. She is not afraid of her years. Her self image and her state of mind is that of a 17 year old beauty, in her minds eye she still sees herself as a 17 year old, as seen in the photo below...and acts that way.
I am proud to call her mom. I am honored to be her friend. Go forth, momma mia....and have an awesome mother's day...and every other day...after that. I love you!!!!
Date Night: Chinese Leads to Heart Disease????
Jamie and I made plans for our Friday date night. Dinner, movie? Celebrate Mother's Day...
Ended up: Dinner, Winco, Kaiser...not quite what we originally planned...but our love story grew as a result....I love my man...more...and more...and more...each passing year...each passing experience...
Come on!!! Let's Eat!!!
Let's do it!!!
We like beer with our Chinese (1 bottle with 2 glasses, please)...
And, of course, hot tea...
Crunchy noodles with a side order of "nose hit" hot mustard...yummy!!!
Sizzling rice soup...
Paper wrapped chicken...
Still crazy in love...after all these years (or maybe just crazy)...
Cookies for dessert...
Then...off to Winco for the weekly groceries...
Then, after dinner, after putting away the groceries...it happened. Pressure in my chest. A feeling of fullness trapped in my upper chest. Not in my belly. Like I at too fast and everything got stuck. Took a pepcid. Jamie looked up heart attack in google. Take antacids. Wait 5 minutes. If no relief..got to the hospital. I took another pepcid and 4 Tums. 20 minutes or so later...no relief.
So, Jamie and I headed over to Kaiser Emergency. He dropped me off and went to park. By the time he got in I was being interviewed. Rushed to a room. And triaged. Literally, withing 10 minutes (or less)...
Here is Daniel getting me set up...
In good hands...
Diagnosis? All my tests looked good. Except, my potasium, which dropped below normal. Emergency room doctor and nurse told us that with women, heart attack symptoms present themselves differently. Even with these negative tests...there was a 50 percent chance...I had a heart attack. In comes the Internal Med doc. She recommends staying over night so they can monitor me overnight, take more tests and, finally, schedule a stress test. Jamie and I decided I would stay. He would go home and come back in the morning.
Welcome to my Casbah...
We were visited by Jaw Fish and Buck Fish...
And also Tauna and Tim. We needed to tell them because we had plans with them for the day. They came by fully loaded with Sudoko, magazines and a really cool c0oking timer. Tauna sitting at the edge of the bed...tears in her eyes. The love we have for each other is unreal. We have bonded for sure. Then Tauna and Jamie outside...talking about their iPhones. Tim with me...a comforting friend..who I know will be there for me...
We did not call anyone else...we plan to tell everyone as we see them. Or, through the blog. The final report: No evidence of a heart attack. However, there is a real concern about the potasium level that has dropped on me several times. A follow up with my doc has been scheduled to determine if we should change my blood pressure medicine.
And the final diagnosis...
My husband, who stayed with me all day Saturday. In bed with me. Cuddled up to me. Sleeping and resting with me. Sharing my hospital lunch - 1/2 for your and 1/2 for me. My partner is this life. I remember, Jamie and I seeing an old couple in Balboa Park. Sitting in lawn chairs. Neatly dressed. Holding hands. Reading a book. So evidently in love. We both agreed...this is what we want. We both have the same picture in our mind as wel travel through this life. We are getting older. We do not want to settle in our relationship. We want it vital. We want it relevant. We want it committed. We want to be surrounded by friends and family...who share our dreams...or sadness...our story...in a real and honest way. I know...many of you...are that to us. We are that couple we saw in Balboa Park. Through good times, in bad times, for better, for worse...I honor and love you...my Jamie...my family...my friends.
Love, Deb
